“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
— Lao Tzu

At that time there were very few organizations in California that trained service dogs for invisible disabilities and only one that allowed you to train with your own puppy (basically from day one). However I did find one, Clay’s Canine Sidekicks located in the San Diego area (unfortunately since writing this story Cyndy Clay passed away and that organization no longer exists). All I needed was a pup! As fate would have it, a coworker’s golden just gave birth to a new litter of pups. Her previous litters had yielded several guide dogs and for the first time in several years there was a pup available if I wanted him – and boy did I! Let me introduce to you Beauregard Goldenbear III (Beau) as I saw him for the very first time. He was a bundle of furry cuteness and the largest of the litter (which was why he was still available), but for my needs he was perfect! And so our journey began…

The first step in training a service dog is socialization. Beau and I went everywhere together; he met other dogs, he was brought into all kinds of environments with many noises and distractions. His obedience training also started from day one. I am happy to say he was a quick learner and training time became play time. Beau had to be a certain age before he could begin his “formal” service dog training so since dog training was new to me I enlisted the help of a local dog trainer who I found through the Delta Society. He was amazing. At first I never thought I’d ever be able to walk Beau without him pulling me and nearly knocking me over with his excitement, but with the trainer’s patience and guidance we soon became a working team. The first part of our training regimen was the basic obedience commands such as sit, stay, heel, name recognition, etc. Beau was a champ at learning these commands. He loved success (this picture is of him sitting on command the very first time – notice that big golden smile!). We then began to work on the requirements for Beau to pass the “Canine Good Citizen” test, the first step in becoming a working dog. With the use of clicker training techniques such as positive reinforcement, shaping and targeting behavior with LOTS of repetition and rewards; Beau was fast becoming a well behaved young pup and a pleasure to bring just about anywhere. We did have some minor setbacks like chewing socks and other puppy antics but those quickly were overcome and Beau was a delight.

There was also a very interesting outcome from training Beauregard as well. I was focusing on him and not on my MS! Yes there were some trips and falls, good days and not so good days when my symptoms seemed to be getting the best of me, however, by having Beau as my constant companion, the bad days seemed to be fewer and far between. I was finding that the more we worked as a team and the more that Beau became “tuned into me” he began to sense my limitations, alerted me when they were happening, and assisted me in compensating for them.

Beau and I continued training with the trainer from the Delta Society – now known as Pet Partners. In essence I was my own puppy raiser (with help) and also began our weekly training at Clays Canine Sidekicks. Over the next two years we worked on numerous specialized commands and skill sets that I would need Beau to do for my particular disability. He also passed the requirements to qualify as a working service dog thus allowing him total access to everywhere I went. Beau went with me to work, he traveled with me when I presented at conferences, he rode in cars, buses, trains, planes, boats and even loved riding in elevators in high rises downtown. Beau and I were a team.

When we are out and about I have found that Beau is much more than a service dog assisting me, he is more like a “service dog ambassador”. You see, my disability is basically invisible, in fact when we meet people they sometimes speak very loudly (assuming I’m deaf I guess) or comment that I don’t look blind and I certainly don’t look like I need a service dog. Sometimes people will ask if I am training Beau for the Guide Dogs because that is the only reason I would have a service animal with me (I’m not in a wheelchair after all). At times they are downright rude. I have been asked to leave places, told that dogs (because they are pets) are not allowed, etc. It is a daily battle. The public is not aware of those of us with disabilities that aren’t obvious. I’m often told that “I look too healthy” to have a service dog. Through talking (and hopefully educating) folks when I am out with Beau I hope we are bringing about awareness and an understanding of just what a service dog does…one person at a time. When I am questioned (or refused service or entrance to anywhere; legally all I have to say is, “I am disabled and this is my service dog”. However I do try to educate the person I am speaking with (if they’re not hostile or rude).  A person can ask what the dog does for me, but they CANNOT ask what is wrong with me. What my illness is or any other personal information is my business and it is my right to keep that disclosure to myself. I can’t tell you how frustrating it is at times being interrogated or denied access just because the proprietor or an employee is unaware. This even has happened to me in a hospital (of all places)!

For me, Beau’s assistance involves helping me with balance, walking (by either bracing going down stairs or pulling me up stairs and if I am sitting or on the ground and­­ I can’t get up he braces so I can push off of him. He also warns me if I am about to have an episode of muscle spasms, dizziness, and even fatigue (he whines, licks me, or puts his head in my lap). Since we have been together awhile, Beau can tell when I’m confused or disoriented so he’ll either stand in front of me or sit down and not move so I have to stop a moment and focus on him. When it is too hot in the car, he will not get in until I have aired it out or put on the air conditioner so that I don’t get dizzy or disoriented from the heat. All these skill sets lessen my anxiety and/or fear that I am feeling so I can slow down, take a breath and get my bearings. He also knows when I am having a bad MS day. On those days he never leaves my side at home – he follows me everywhere and spends a lot of time soothing me with licks (he doesn’t normally lick so that is my cue that something is wrong) and resting his head gently on my lap. Stroking that big soft head of his has a calming effect and actually helps me release some of the stress and anxiety so I can take a moment to relax and not try to push myself when I really don’t have the resources to do so.

So you see my disability is not very obvious to an outsider looking in, but it is a disability none the less and a service dog like Beau has made all the difference to me. Unfortunately there aren’t enough services dogs for all us who need them. There are many wonderful organizations that are doing wonderful work for those with disabilities. However the waiting lists are long, the public is still so unaware and there is still much work to be done so that people (especially those with invisible disabilities) can be matched with a service animal to improve the quality of their lives.

I am now retired, I am a writer, consultant, photographer and advocate for service dogs. With Beau by my side I have been able to embrace my disability, learn my limitations, face my fears, and accept that I am not the person I once was – and that’s ok. I am able to make life choices that will keep me connected productive, and most of all an active contributing member of society. In other words, with Beau’s help I’ve turned my lemons into lemonade. We have had many adventures and with him by my side I have been able to do much more than I ever thought possible. He has opened my eyes to a world of possibilities, a world with a service dog.